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One day little Johnny comes home one day from school and his mom asks him how his day was. He replies, "Mom, today I had sex with the teacher!" Immediately she was angry. She said, "just wait 'till your dad gets home, he's going to be very mad at you. Go to your room!" So the boy goes to his room and finally his dad is home and comes up to the room. The boy tells his dad and the dad is proud of the boy. "Great job son! How old are you 12? 13? How about we go down to the store and get that shiny red bicycle you wanted?" So, they go to the store and the dad buys the bike for his son. Then he says, "well Johnny, do you want to ride the bike home?" The boy answers, " No, that's okay Dad, My ass is still sore!" pharmacy phentermine order phentermine discount phentermine phentermine online

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Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting for him. "What's the story this time, Jones?" he asked sarcastically. "Let's hear a good excuse for achange." Jones sighed, "Everything went wrong this morning, Boss. The wife decided to drive me to the station. She got ready in ten minutes, but then the drawbridge got stuck. Rather than let you down, I swam across the river (look, my suit's still damp), ran out to the airport, got a ride on Mr. Thompson's helicopter, landed on top of Radio City Music Hall, and was carried here piggyback by one of the Rockettes." "You'll have to do better than that, Jones," said the boss, obviously disappointed. "No woman can get ready in ten minutes." cheap order tramadol cheap tramadol buy drug tramadol buy discount tramadol buy now tramadol

Irish Diet An Irishman was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. Doc advises: "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should Have lost at least 5 pounds." When the Irishman returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60 POUNDS! "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?" The Irishman nodded..."I'll tell you though, by Jesuz, I t'aut I wasgoing to drop dead that 3rd day." "From hunger, you mean?" "No, from fuckin' skippin'" the Irishman said.. auto insurance progressive rate progressive auto insurance online auto insurance in texas discount automobile insurance auto insurance discount

A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer. "Certainly, sir, that'll be 1 cent." "One penny!?" exclaimed the guy. The barman replied, "Yes." So, the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks, "Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with fries, peas, and a salad?" "Certainly sir," replies the bartender, "but all that comes to real money." "How much money?" inquires the guy. "Four cents," he replies. "Four cents?!" exclaims the guy. "Where's the guy who owns this place?" The barman replies, "Upstairs with my wife." The guy says, "What's he doing with your wife?" The bartender replies, "Same as what I'm doing to his business." toshiba laptop battery battery laptop toshiba toshiba laptop batterys inspiron 4000 battery

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An American, a Japanese and a Canadian were sitting naked in a sauna when suddenly there was a beeping sound. The American pressed his forearm, and the beep stopped. The others looked at him questioningly. "That was my pager he said. "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm." A few minutes later a phone rang. The Japanese fellow lifted his palm to his ear. When he finished he explained "That was my mobile phone, I have a microchip in my hand." The Canadian felt decidedly low-tech, but not to be outdone, he decided he had to do something just as impressive. He stepped out of the sauna and went to the toilet. He returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his butt. The others raised their eyebrows and stared at him. The Canadian finally said "Well, will you look at that! I'm getting a fax." __________________ If you take any medicines that have nitrates in them (like nitroglycerin for chest pain)—every day or even once in a while—you should NOT take viagra cheap